Saturday, November 10, 2012

Why Blog If Nobody Out There Cares About What You Have To Say??

Let me ask a serious question to all Bloggers out there, do you really think people care what you have to say?  

Obviously the answer is a BIG FAT YES, or Blogging would be as far gone as Betamax Machines from the eighties.      

So am I living in a dreamworld thinking that there are people out there that actually want to hear from me?  


Erin Melissa Apelu. 
Thirty-seven-years old. 

Former Ballerina turned overweight, over opinionated, wishful Author.  Yeah, I think I'm over-reaching drastically! 

Strangely enough, I really don't care if anyone out there reads my blog, because I've decided to write for me. 


When I started this blog (and the two others I have) I was writing to be like everyone else--a cookie cutter blogger. Back in May of 2011, I attended the LDStorymakers for the first time.  Literary Agent, Sara Megibow basically implied that if you want to be a successful author then you must blog!! Makes sense, right? Right! It does make sense. Even I'm smart enough to know that. 

At Storymakers I met a lot, I mean a crazy lot, of awesome writers. I was as giddy as a child in Disneyland except this was for a want-to-be author. And I was surrounded by so many talented published, and un-published, writers. The desire to be just like all of them surged like Diet Coke mixed with Mentos through my veins.--exploding everywhere.  

I would be successful, and popular like them. 

Four perfect days. Then reality set in when I came home and started a blog. Very few people cared what I had to say, and even fewer cared to comment on any of my posts. To make matters worse, I looked through the blogs of my new-found-friends,  like Erin Summerhill, Jessie Humphries, Peggy Eddleman, Taffy Lovell, and Julie Donaldson to name a few. I soon discovered what a real loser I was.  
I only hoped to be as interesting as them, and others that I met. They were all so beautiful, smart, and talent writers, who had so much to say. I was totally new that this. I didn't even finish college, and was known for being the 'dumb blonde' with crappy grammer.  How could I be a writer. 

Shortly after, Peggy signed with an AMAZING Agent, and this year Jessie did also. I however, after being rejected by my favorite agent, didn't follow through with my submission plans (and I had 3 request fulls). My worst fears were confirmed--I was a loser! 

Losers don't blog.

Honestly, I wasn't as commit to writing on my blog as they were, but I really did give it a chance to see if anyone besides them would comment or keep interest in me. They didn't. Unfortunately, I let this knowledge get the better of me and did what I knew best--STOP DOING IT! 

This past May at Storymakers I found myself almost depressed.  If it hadn't been for the awesome Julie Donaldson hanging out with me, and discovering that we had more in common than I'd ever imagined, it would have been an utter disappointment. I found myself distant from the other friends I'd made the previous year--and that is NOT like me!  They were popular, and really moving up in the writing world. Why would they notice me & care what I had to say? So I stayed away, went to bed early, and even left the conference before it was completely over (it was my dad's 80th birthday party at our house). On the other hand, had I not, I would never have gotten to know Julie--and we really did have a great time (especially watching video clips of the handsome, William Levy, on my laptop!!) 

It's taken many, many months of humble contemplation to realize it was totally my fault. I wanted to be them. I even found a pit in my stomach when I would see their blogs, or posts on Facebook of something fun they did together. I was use to being the center of attention, and with them I wasn't. I wasn't sure if I even existed in their minds. For me, it was Jr. High all over again, and for them they were just being, well--them! And I was jealous that I couldn't just realax and be me. Hey, If I did, maybe they'd like me! 

After a long eighteen-months of letting politics completely take over my life, I've decided I owe it to myself to be me again.  You see, I've never had a hard time making friends. On the contrary, people somehow are drawn to me--maybe because I'm like car crash in motion. :) So it's high time I stop trying to be like someone else and enjoy my own talents.  

If you've followed me through this disastrous post of rambling, I want you to know. I don't care if you read the things I have to say. I don't even care if you comment. Because I've realized that blogging doesn't need me (what do I know anyway?), but I need blogging. 

And to my awesome, talented, beautimous friends from Storymakers, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE YOU!  You inspire me. You give me something positive to strive for!! And I'm done being jealous!  And I'm sorry if I've ever done or said anything to offend you.

I'm just going to write about me! 

I Love The First Snowfall

When the alarm sounded this morning, I quickly dashed out of bed to see what would be awaiting myself and my three Cavalier's as we stepped outside for 'potty time'. I have to admit, I was a little disappointed. There wasn't much snow. I'd expected more after listening to last nights news. After all, I'd seen days like this before, promising loads of snow that disappointingly turned out to be slush.

What a bummer. :(

Stricken with Multiple Sclerosis, a chronic illness with symptoms that flare when it's hot,  I welcome cold days (especially snowy ones).

After my usual Friday morning ritual of beautifying my mother, which consist of helping her dress into her temple clothes and curing her hair, the view from the bathroom window finally had some prospects and my spirits were rising.

I quickly showered and easily persuaded my always hungry husband to take me on a date to IHOP for breakfast. We dined over pumpkin pancakes, eggs, bacon, and hash browns as the snow continued to fall, increasing in fluffiness.

Later in the afternoon as I picked my daughter up from a friends, I saw many elementary school kids sledding down the hills in Murray, running through the snow, and even having a snowball fight with two LDS Missionaries.

As I drove pass, I thought to myself how I wished to once again be young and enjoy the snow without a care in the world. But the reality of my age, health, and remembering that I am still recovering from my total abdominal hysterectomy (look for that post later on--with freaky pictures included) quickly brought me to reality.

The remainder of my afternoon was spent on a date with my son, Dylan, enjoying the new James Bond movie, Skyfall--it was freaking awesome!!  But on the way home from the movie, the snow seemed to be more slushy than anything.  Finally at home,  I ended the evening snuggled on my bed with my daughter, Aryana reminiscing as though she was still four-years-old as we watched 'Barbie--The Princess and the Pauper', while loudly singing along with all the memorized songs.

Way passed my bedtime, I opened the back door for the dogs to do their thing one last time, and saw the beautiful fluffy snow back--the continuation of at least 30 more hours of snow. I feel confident enough to say that Fred, Lila, and Bella all seemed to enjoy it as much as I do!

Yay for winter!

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Help! What Do You Do When You Can't Stand Living With Yourself??

Sometimes I even HATE myself.

I know, I know, Hate--it's such a strong word. And lets be honest, I don't really HATE myself. Like, I'm not into cutting, attempting suicide, or even saying awful things about me to me. Probably the most self destructive I get is drinking a few too many Pepsi, downing too much chocolate, and suddenly doing something dramatic with my hair.

So why all the drama?  Especially at 10:38pm on a Tuesday night.

Here I am, almost seven days post-op from my ankle surgery, stuck in my dark, cool basement with lots of time to think, think, think. I've basically been drugged for the last one-hundred-sixty-eight hours on Oxycodone--first time taking it--and I've been left with plenty of vivid, scary dreams to write great stories about for years to come. But hanging out so much with yourself isn't always the funnest thing. I'm left remembering that this isn't the first, second, or even the fiftieth time that I bug myself.

So what bugs me about me?


First off, I seriously can't stand the fact that I just CAN'T KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT, especially when opening the endless pit of chaos can cause unintentional headaches for myself and others. Somehow thoughts only meant for me, myself, and I often spew from within and land smack on the face of others with no way left to retrieve them so that they may remain as only thoughts. This is better know as foot inserted into mouth.  Unfortunately, we are very well acquainted with each other. This is probably the number one time I can't stand myself. Because honestly, somewhere deep inside I know I shouldn't be saying it. A small little voice even subtly warns me that this will probably back fire, yet I STILL DO IT!

Why?? Why??  Why??  

 Do I like pain & suffering?                        

No. Not really. I swear.

Second thing I hate about myself. I just can't keep my mouth shut. Hum...

-Uh, Erin, that kind of sounds like the first thing you hate about yourself.
-Why yes it does. But this one is actually different. Although I think I could repeat #1 just about one-hundred times before I actually got to #2. But # 2 is actually different than #1.


You go to, lets say just for the fun of it, the Salt Lake County Convention with Erin Apelu. She's a ton of fun--really I am (at least I've been told). Erin has no problem coming up with something to say. In fact, Erin can just about spend the next six-hundred minutes together entertaining you by talking. And Erin's talking ability goes beyond just the six-hundred minutes, she can actually talk for six-hundred minutes about completely different things, thus keeping the time together very diverse. In the process of all this talking Erin is doing with you, she can manage to talk to everyone around her. At several points during the day a small crowd of people have gathered around to listen to her. Erin most definitely has no qualms of approaching and talking to the county/state celebrities that are there for the day--she is bound and determined to get her pictures and make her voice heard...even if others don't want to hear her... (and most don't). She can be funny, sarcastic, and annoying all at once and you're left thinking that's a sort of skill. By the end of the day, as you stumble towards the Trax train, you find that a LARGE pain has wrapped your head and is pulsating in rhythm with the sound echoing from her mouth. You think to yourself, does she ever stop? You shake your head. You already know the answer. No. The train is finally rounding the corner, only twenty more minutes until you can lose this chick and drop into your bed for some peace and quite. Erin's mouth is still moving, and a storm has quickly approached, violently whipping her hair in her face. You secretly wonder if the dirt flying around landed in her mouth, would she shut-up then? While chuckling to yourself you hear Erin say, "AH! I'm exhausted being with myself for the day. Seriously. Sometimes I can't stand being with myself."  You open your eyes in shock and notice Erin has lost her balance and slips onto the train tracks, just feet in front of the approaching train. For a split second you contemplate, should I put myself, her family, and even her out of her misery? I mean, even she can't stand herself.  But instantly realizing you could be held a hero, you reach forward and quickly pull her back on to the platform. Hard as it was, your choice was made.
And just as expected your held a local hero--But not for the train saving, as you thought--but for the six-hundred minutes sacrificed for the good of mankind--and  politics.

Yes, my fellow blog friends, this is a typical day-in-the-life.

Now, ask yourself this very, very important question.......................


Comments are welcomed, and encouraged!

Erin Apelu

Monday, April 9, 2012

Just DO IT!...?

Here I am.  The weather is nearly perfect, a comfortable 70 degrees this afternoon, the Weatherman reported while I cooked breakfast. I've slipped into my new red shorts, knee length--to hide some of the spider veins making their way up the back of my leg, pulled on my new blue Pepsi t-shirt from Target, and clipped the sides of my hair back. How do I look? I know, a little...busty.  Okay, A LOT busty--either cursed or blessed. You decide.  Lol.

Monday is Monday. Enough said. Surprisingly I woke-up rested and went to the gym. Onlookers working-out probably wonder how I use the ARC machine, read a book, and listen to the TV at the same time. They don't understand that, despite my frequent Multiple Sclerosis, mommy, old-age induced brain fog, my mind is still pretty good about filtering and honing in when an important news story comes on.

Now I find myself doing the usual this time of the morning: sitting on my laptop, watching my mother swim/walk back and forth at The Orthopedic Specialty Hospital pool, while I decide my next move for the remaining 45 minutes I'm here. Do I catch up on the political/national/world news? Scan Facebook? Instant message with my sister on Yahoo? Work on my new manuscript? Or Blog?

If you asked my husband he'd say--WORK ON YOUR MANUSCRIPT.

But today  you've won out. Here I am blogging. Wows, actually blogging--or attempting it.

Sadly enough, I waste a lot of time dilly dallying around, never actually accomplishing anything. Why is it so hard to just DO SOMETHING?? Why is it so hard to even figure out how to write this blog post today? It's not like I don't have a ton of things to say, all the time, to everyone. But articulating it into a blog post, that possibly nobody but my mother will read, is not as easy as you'd think for a highly opinionated author. And at the end of the day, I crawl into bed and wonder--"Am I gigantic loser?" That is, if I'm awake long enough to ask myself that question.

Now that I've pretty much blabbed on about--well nothing, I'm curious how many of you find yourself in the same predicament I'm in for a good majority of my day?

Does anyone question that I'm ADD?? Because that answer is pretty clear to me--YES!

Sounds like I need a vacation. Oh wait, already did that a few weeks back, and had an awesome time in Las Vegas with the FamBam. 

This is me, posing at the fountains inside Cesar Palace shopping.

 Thanks for listening.  Or reading, I guess.

Erin Apelu

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Erin=Entertainment, Enlightenment, Education, Encouragment: A month of Elightenment and Encouragment

Erin=Entertainment, Enlightenment, Education, Encouragment: A month of Elightenment and Encouragment: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!! Okay, so not today. Not even tomorrow. But in twelve days. Yes twelve (12) days. Yep. You got it. A Valentines b...

Erin Apelu

A month of Elightenment and Encouragment


Okay, so not today. Not even tomorrow. But in twelve days. Yes twelve (12) days. Yep. You got it. A Valentines baby.  I will be twenty-eight. Haha. Nope. Try thirty-seven. Dang I still look good for thirty-seven. At least that's what my secret mirror tells me every morning. I know. Modest.

But actually, I do look better then I have in probably 11 years. My family joined Planet Fitness near our house. Good news: I've lost 25 pounds. Yay!  It's been great. Fa'a and I get up Monday-Friday at 4:45am and go before he gets ready for work. It hasn't been fun adjusting my sleep schedule, but I basically drop like a rock by 10pm.


Fa'a hasn't been so lucky. He took on a second job (but I think it's more like leisure activity). He's selling frozen yogurt--yes you heard me--frozen yogurt for Red Mango at the Jazz games. He loves it. But he gets home late and usually has to unwind with a Bingo game on Facebook or brousing through the Samoan Observer online. 

Kids are doing great--for an update on my family check out my other blog tomorrow--Erin The Most Happy

But time for some Enlightnment with some Encouragement.

If you've turned your TV in the last few months (Not Jersey Shores or something similar--lol) you've noticed the media channels have been inundated with politics--mostly GOP. Who's the most Conservative? Romneycare=Obamacare. The three wives of Newt. Herman Cains sexual harrassement. Ron Pauls Foreign Policy. Who's the best to beat Obama? And so forth...

How do you disect it all?

How are we supposed to know Truth or Fiction?

What of this information is relevant to the office of the Presidency?

So many questions. So many anwers.

Lets start here. This is how I feel. Right or wrong. This is how I feel.

and is this too much to ask?

But some of you out there reading this blog (again--probably just my mom) might look at those two pictures and say to yourself what's wrong with our country? I love BO (or Obummer, as I like to call him).

If you have to ask yourself that question, take a look at what your watching, listening to, and reading. Okay. I know I'm going to hear it.

Fox News. Blah. Fox News.

For your information, I actually watch a lot more then Fox News. Yes. 5am=Planet Fitness=CNN Starting Point with Soledad O'Brien.

Among other programs throughout the day...

But I don't need to watch just one channel to know what is really going on. I have eyes to see and ears to hear, also. Luckily I live in Utah where the economy for the most part is strong. However, most of the other states aren't as lucky as we are. Unemployment is at a record high. Housing is down the tubes.Occupy Wallstreet. Foreign unrest.  I'm not telling you something you don't already know (my readers are smart ;) ). 

And where does our President stand on all of this? Hope and Change 2008=Unemployment bad economy 2012 

Oh, he wants to help all the unemployed. Bring jobs back to the US. Stop the Keystone Pipeline that would bring tens if not hundreds of thousands of jobs and reduce energy cost to every single American, and blame the GOP for it. And don't forget--make sure EVERYONE pays their fair share.

One question: what is everyone's FAIR SHARE?

Now I know I promised to be dilegent in writing. And I've failed. Water under the bridge. New day. New year. New chance. And the last blog post I made I talked about the wonderful Anne Bolyen. I promised to finish her story. And I will. Just not today. But to understand England in the 1500's is important to understanding what is going on in America 2012.

To my previous picture. What is the Constitution? Why do we really care? Isn't it just an old document by a bunch of old farts who lived in an entirely different world then we do now. The Constitution was for their time not ours.  Right?

Wrong? I have a testimony that the Constitution of the United States of Amercia is a sacred document divinely inspired to make and keep this country great. We have the amendment process for the necessary changes, which should be limited, not in excess. I believe that a document inspired by God doesn't need to be modified but only by a few simple things.   Obama is not following the principles  that this country was founded on. He makes too many Executive Orders. He's trying to build or Government to the max, taking away the rights of the people. Now he's stepped over line too far. He is getting involved in religion. Our very freedom of religion is being challenged. We can't stand by and let this happen.

I believe Mitt Romney is the only one that can save this country. Is he perfect? No. Was Noah, Adam, or Moses perfect? No. Only Jesus Christ has lived a perfect life. So let's stop beating each other up for the mistakes that we've made in the past and focus on the person with the best knowledge of the economy. A man with HIGH MORALS. A family man devoted to the same woman. Someone of faith. Who gives 10% tithe like even the Bible demands. Who takes care of the poor. Who is humble therefore uncomfortable speaking about his great wealth.

There's a lot to be picked through. Good and bad. But we need to remember only one who walked this earth was perfect. He created this world for us. Our country was divinly inspired. We need to step up and become the people worthy to live in this great Promised Land before it is ruined. We need a leader who can do this.

Mitt Romney can.

Here's a few links for some enlightnment. One of them is the transcripts from my conversation with Rush Limbaugh yesterday.

Tune in for more!  Have a great day!

My conversation with Rush Limbaugh regarding Mitt Romney:

Ann Coulter on Romneycare

And this one is about Newt Gingrich

Erin Apelu